Green Parrot's Nachos

Taste	4	Everything blends well together and there's nothing to complain about.  Then again, nothing really stands out either.
Size	3	Decent.  Designed to be shared but would make a solid entree, as well.  And, if someone gets grabby, there's always your fork to fend them off.
Toppings	3	Chips, sour cream, guacamole, salsa, fresh chili, jalapenos, sharp cheddar cheese.  Standard, but a good mix of the standard.
Ingenuity	3	Not much to speak off -- but that's a good thing in this case.  The platter doesn't out-think itself, but it's also not overly inspired.  It's like a college essay written for a literature class by a business major:  professional, organized, filled with everything it should have, but it's the work of an artisan, not an artist.
IOD	3	They definitely fill you up, but they're quickly walk-offable.
Overall Score	16	These are the nachos all others should be measure against -- not because they're the best, but precisely because they are the average.  Let's hear it for standard!
Rated By	Mike
Location		240 N. Sycamore Street, Newtown

The rating scale takes the following aspects of nacho platterification into account:

Taste

How does everything tie together?  Are toppings well distributed?  Did you cry – for joy or woe – at any point while eating?

Size

A good nacho platter can be shared with everyone feeling somewhat sated (or eaten alone in a scheme of hungover self-healing or in a fit of fatty shame).  How does this one stack up?

Toppings

Quality or crappy?  Fresh pico de gallo or jarred salsa?  Shredded cheese blend or Cheez Whiz?  Meaty chili or chunks of God-knows-what?  How about the chip-to-topping ratio?

Ingenuity

Was there anything unique about the platter?  Was it so blasé as to be simply blah?  Or was there something that made this plate stick out in the pantheon of nachos and earn the name “platter”?

Intensity of Disgust You Feel with Yourself Two Minutes After Finishing (or, IOD)

This is a good thing!  If you didn’t want to feel gross and stuffed and like Ernest Borgnine after a fish-fry bender, you would have ordered a salad!

Rating Scale:

1 – Awful.  Like coma patient on a feeding tube, not even strong enough to suck.

2 –  Weak.  Like it’s bringing less to the plate than the Phillies’ power hitters in the playoffs.

3 – Solid.  Like going to the prom with a friend – drama-free, but nothing special in the end.

4 – Good.  Like Michael Jackson:  incredible, but there’s that one bad thing you just can’t ignore.

5 – Excellent.  Like Christmas, and your birthday, and summer vacation all rolled into one.